In Memory of 24682

Published April 25, 2012 by rochellewisoff

Thanks to Madison Woods for the photo prompt and Friday Fictioneers to keep us on our writing toes.

Through vicious barbs and twisted wire the sun had the audacity to shine. Marushka licked the dregs of a discarded sardine tin. Her disappointed stomach howled its outrage. She sank down on the stony ground. Stretching her rawboned legs in the dust she longed for silk stockings to hug her once shapely calves.

From her torn pocket she pulled a mirror-shard and glowered at her reflection. Who was this bald hag? Murderer! No! She’d only covered his mouth so they wouldn’t hear.

“24682.” She slashed a trail, long and deep, through the tattooed number to her wrist.

“Mama’s coming, Dovid.”

44 comments on “In Memory of 24682

  • You weave this story beautifully and there are several great lines, like the audacity of the sun. I have a few questions, but that's OK in a short piece. Most of all I wanted to know if the person she killed was friend or foe – a guard trying to hold her back, or her own child. That would give me more clarity as to whether the wound she is inflicting is just to remove the tattoo so she can find a living child, or to kill herself to join a dead one.The piece is chilling either way, but I'd have liked to know.I'm over here:


  • I really liked some phrases that you have used in this post."Audacity of the sun", "Disappointed stomach" "howl of an outrage". Good play of words!I didn't quite understand what quite happened in the story to be honest. Maybe I need to read it a few more times..Parul


  • It is a challenge to write a complete story in so few words, isn't it? The person she killed was Dovid, her baby son. Unintentionally she smothered him with her hand over his mouth and nose to keep the SS from hearing him and finding them. Unfortunately it's a fairly common story. And yes, she killed herself to join him.


  • Just read this last one. I can see the scene and it works. Real good. Poignant words and phrases. If one can visualize the whole scene in the 100 words used, little else is needed.


    • Dear Al,

      I was going to rerun this one and saw where I’ve evolved as a writer. This was my third installment in Friday Fictioneers. As you can see, I was just one of the gang back then. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on it, too.๐Ÿ˜€



      Liked by 1 person

      • You’re welcome๐Ÿ™‚ It was Friday Fictioneers that started my fiction writing – and instalments with Raynard. And that started me with the idea of creating my own weekly prompt. You were writing good back then, and have increased 100 fold in that time.


  • Input! I love input!

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

    You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

    Twitter picture

    You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

    Google+ photo

    You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

    Connecting to %s

    Honie Briggs



    Writing About Whatever Comes to Mind, Whenever it Comes to Mind...

    Flights of Fancy

    The Totally Unambitious Blog

    The Off Key Of Life

    Orโ€ฆ.Identifying The Harmless Unhinged Among Us.

    What's So Funny?

    A humor blog

    The Write Melony

    Renowned Writer Extraordinaire - in my mind!

    unbuttoned or undone

    Hang on, Hang on

    A Delectable Life

    The little and large things making my life delicious!

    Hoxton Spanish Tutor Info

    This site is the catโ€™s pajamas

    Sound Bite Fiction

    where nothing is quite what it seems


    Vague Meanderings of the Broke and Obscure


    a libretto for the comic opera of my life


    Writing about writing

    What's for dinner, Doc?

    Exploring Human Connections, Health and Wellness

    Claire Fuller

    Writing and art

    Green Writing Room

    Hilary Custance Green's reading and writing notepad

    Oldentimes's Blog

    a little old, a little new, life in the slow land of country living

    Caely in the making

    - one day, they'll say "because of you, I didn't give up" -


    A great site

    Being MG

    Flash fiction, poetry and other written works that make me who I am.


    A.K.A. Ted White

    Musings of a Random Mind

    Fiction based on reality. Any similarities to the characters and events in the life of the author are purely intentional.

    draliman on life

    Because sometimes life just makes you stop and think


    Looking at Infinity


    adventures in defensive gardening

    fabricating fiction

    Louise Jensen - Writer -

    Momus News

    Humorous News, Photos, and Short Fiction

    next page new chapter

    Life, Motherhood, Beauty, Books

    %d bloggers like this: