23 August 2013

Published August 21, 2013 by rochellewisoff

WELCOME TO FRIDAY FICTIONEERS. 

As always, writers are encouraged to be as innovative as possible with the prompt and 100 word constraints. 

Henry David Thoreau said it best.

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”

THE CHALLENGE:

Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.)

THE KEY:

Make every word count.

THE RULES:

  • Copy your URL to the Linkz collection. You’ll find the tab following the photo prompt. It’s the little white box to the left with the blue froggy guy. Click on it and follow directions. This is the best way to get the most reads and comments.
  • MAKE SURE YOUR LINK IS SPECIFIC TO YOUR FLASH. (Should you find that you’ve made an error you can delete by clicking the little red ‘x’ that should appear under your icon. Then re-enter your URL. (If there’s no red x email me at Runtshell@aol.com. I can delete the wrong link for you).
  • While our name implies “fiction only” it’s perfectly Kosher to write a non-fiction piece as long as it meets the challenge of being a complete story in 100 words. 
    • ***PLEASE MAKE NOTE IN YOUR BLOG IF  YOU PREFER NOT TO RECEIVE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.*** 
    • REMINDER: This page is “FRIDAY FICTIONEERS CENTRAL” and is NOT the place to promote political or religious views. Also, you are responsible for the content of your story and policing comments on your blog. You have the right to delete any you consider offensive.

    **Please exercise DISCRETION when commenting on a story! Be RESPECTFUL.**

    Should someone have severe or hostile differences of opinion with another person it’s my hope that the involved parties would settle their disputes in private.

  • Like us on Facebook
  • ;) My story follows the photo and link tool. I enjoy honest comments and relish constructive criticism. :D
  • Shalom,

              Rochelle

Copyright -Claire Fuller

Copyright –Claire Fuller

get the InLinkz code

Genre: Literary Fiction

Word Count: 99

VESTIGES

            The day Eleanor entered the convent her parents wept. No amount of pleading would change her mind.

            “It’s my calling to live my life for Him.”

            With bridal joy, she hid her cropped auburn hair under coif and veil and pledged her troth to God until death.  

            Years passed. Her faith waned and the church, once her safe haven, became a stone-walled Purgatory.

            Her reflection’s faded brown eyes scrutinized her from the cracked mirror. Headpiece abandoned and threadbare habit a crumpled heap on the floor, she smiled at her silver-gray locks.

            With renewed purpose, she faced the future. 

103 comments on “23 August 2013

  • In different ways,your stories always reach out of their 100 word allowances…dramatically so. Again the subject matter is so real, and true. Your story had a beautiful ending, with that inspirational ‘never too late’ theme, but it reminded me of the shock I learnt recently that for hundreds of years in countries in Europe such as Spain, Portugal, Italy and France at least one daughter was expected to become a nun, whether she liked it or not, and thus spend her life in the convent from a very early age – not the romantic vision Hollywood, French,and Italian cinema studios has turned it into I think somehow. In fact very tragic.

    Like

  • My only criticism would be that you you don’t seem to mention what the renewed purpose is, unless I missed it. A big deal is made in the beginning out of her original purpose, but at the end its just a one liner about whatever her new purpose may be. Almost makes it seem a little less important than the first purpose where, to me anyway, it should be the more important of the two. Otherwise, a very engaging piece. Well done.

    Like

    • Dear Adam,

      I appreciate your honesty. Originally the word was direction instead of purpose. Perhaps that would be clearer. Or maybe not. That’s one of the issues of the word limit, isn’t it?
      Thank you for your thoughtful comments.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • A lovely story. We don’t always know what we’ll want when we’re older, or what we give up when we’re young. I especially enjoyed the imagery of the main character’s hair in this piece.

    Like

  • I expect it’s the same with many dreams we have in our youth Rochelle, I’m sure regular marriages have also felt like traps after a while. At least she followed her heart. Glad I stopped in to read your story, I’ll make it back some day I know.

    Like

    • Dear Anne,

      I’m glad you stopped by. I miss the Orchards in Friday Fictioneers. I understand that other things have to take priority. How often the passions of youth become prisons later. Disillusionment often happens and we wonder why the “truths” we held when we were young turn to something else later on down the road, doesn’t it?

      shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Another lovely story again this week Rochelle, delivered with your usual grace and style. ‘Her reflection’s faded brown eyes scrutinised her from the mirror’ pulled me up slightly, making me wonder whether it was a tad tautololgical. I’m still thinking about that. But another great take anyway.

    Like

    • Dear Sandra,

      I appreciate your thoughtful concrit. After taking it into consideration I’ve decided to leave it as is. The cracked mirror is a metaphor and needed to remain. As for “reflection’s faded…” it needed to stay as well, tautological or not. BTW, thank you for teaching me a new word. 😉
      Glad you liked the story in any case.

      shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • I like the never-too-late motif here, Rochelle. I imagine marriage to God, like any marriage, has its tough points and in this case eventually its end. The silver locks were great to show she’d stuck it out a long time.
    I’d have liked to see a little hint of where she was going, and whether there was anyone there to show her the world – perhaps her mother still alive or something. But that would probably have needed 50 more words, not the one you had to spare!

    Like

    • Dear Jen,

      I agree. It would’ve been nice to be able to expound a little more on where she’s going. Foiled by.the dastardly word limit again.

      Indeed, you did get the main message…it’s never too late. As Harley riders will tell you, it’s all about the journey, not about the destination.

      Thank you for your honest and thoughtful comments.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Nice theme. It is a well-written story, encompassed in 100 words. I liked the ending where she is looking forward for a change in the future. Never too late… but sometimes it is, in my opinion.

    Like

  • Rocks, Love your story. My take from it is that we all grow and change throughout our lifetimes. Passions at one age may not be the same at another.

    Like

  • Rochelle- I love the evolution of your character in this story.The waning of passion over time and a sense of renewal rebirth in her advanced years. I also learned something. I always thought the habit was the headpiece not the robe.

    I am happy I found Friday Fictioneers. It is so inspiring.

    Like

    • Dear Dana,

      I’m also happy you found us.

      We grow and change, if we don’t there’s something wrong. I’m sure there are those who enter the order that never regret their decisions. Eleanor isn’t one of them. 😉

      Thanks for commenting,

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Rochelle, lovely piece. I like how you moved from the auburn hair to a smile of her lovely silver-gray locks. My mother almost was a nun, so I thought of her when I read your piece. Indeed, there was a time when that was just one of the few options. I’m so glad she chose to be a nurse instead! Now…I want to write something else than previously planned. We’ll see!
    Amy

    Like

    • Dear Joe,

      A bit of autobiography here I suppose. Not in the nun-sense, of course. But it’s only been the last ten years I’ve found my voice as a writer. New dreams. New passions. Never too late. 😉
      Thanks for liking and commenting.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Rochelle, very well told story about change and the resolution to face the world again… still filled with the sadness of lost years between her being a nun and leaving…. those years of fading faith is what fills my mind after reading your story.

    Tack så mycket

    Björn

    Like

  • Dear Rochelle,

    I hope her ending took her to an even better beginning. I know how she feels to leave the comfort of one haven, while trying to create another. Great story as always my friend.

    Love, Renee

    Like

    • Dear Renee,

      I believe life is made up of chapters. It’s never too late to turn the page. And I’m a “few” years ahead of you in that story. 😉 Thank you for commenting. Glad you like it. Missed your writing this week.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

      • Dear Rochelle,

        You’re not ‘that’ old my dear. 😉 More experienced, yes. But not old….

        Your stories always move me. I’m not sure why. It’s not like the subject has happened to me. For some reason I can always ‘feel’ what the main character is going through. Is that strange?

        I had a title and a story ready to write, but too much of my life got in the way to pen even 100 words. It was about Joan of Arc. Her story will have to wait.

        Sincerely,

        Renee

        Like

        • Dear Renee,

          18 with 42 years experience .;) that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

          I’m happy to see that you read between the lines and read my story. Very validating for me as a writer and as a woman.

          I understand about life and priorities.

          Shalom,

          Rochelle

          Like

  • Lovely story of growth and understanding coming late in life. Like some other readers, I related to the imagery of the hair/ young vs. old, auburn vs. gray. It could have been heartbreaking, but your ending was satisfying. Thank you for that!

    Like

    • Dear MT,

      It’s a challenge sometimes but well worth the effort. I’ve learned since I’ve been participating how to conserve words and make every one of them count. Thanks for your kind comments.

      shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Goodness me, that’s an apt story this week. Not that I’m a nun, think about becoming one, or anything like that (too naughty, apart from anything else!). But the idea of faith being shaken – now that is true. I like the hopeful uplift at the end 🙂

    Like

  • I know it’s a different faith, but I can’t help picturing Tevye singing Tradition!!! That may not be the correct name of the song from the movie Fiddler On The Roof. Isn’t it interesting, no matter the culture, the expectations are so similar? I love that she realized she has a choice. Thought provoking story.

    Like

    • Dear Honie,

      I happen to be of that different faith. And have practically memorized “Fiddler on the Roof” so a more perfect reference you couldn’t have used. 😉 I also think of the song “Chavaleh” Indeed, it’s always tough on a parent when her child flies in the face of hopes and expectations.
      And so often youthful fervor turns to disillusionment, doesn’t it? My philosophy is that as long as I’m breathing and cognizant it’s not too late to write a new chapter.
      Thanks for commenting.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Today I had read 4 Friday Fiction stories all scary, this one for a change is different. Lovely, Her faith waned…….wasted youth but she had a choice and strength.Thought provoking. I loved the ending.

    Like

    • Dear Indira,

      It’s not surprising to me that the old church and gnarled tree elicited scary stories. Although to me, more frightening than vampires or things that go bump in the night, would be to come to the end of life with nothing to show for it. Glad you liked my story in any case.

      shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • I wonder how many times this story has played out down the years, and how many women had the inner courage of your character to step outside their world and begin their life anew so late. Not enough I suspect. Nicely done, as always Rochelle. 🙂

    Like

    • Dear Maggie,

      Although I’m not Catholic, I used to play with a little girl across the street who was. We used to put petticoats on our heads and pretend to be nuns. I had a very romantic image of nuns.
      Glad you got the gist of the story and liked it.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • I guess the world is full of people who have, despite (because of?) parental advice, made bad choices in terms of career, life partners, personal philosophy and have found it difficult to make the correction. Good for Eleanor who made the change before it was too late. I reckon she would be an extremely interesting person to meet.

    Like

    • Dear Patrick,

      I can think of hundreds of things I did against my parents’ better judgement. I believe Eleanor to be an interesting person. Perhaps at some later date, I’ll explore her as a character in a larger work. So many things to write, so little time.

      Thank you for your comments.

      shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • I really liked the sense of liberation this one gave me – I felt like I was shaking off the habit and heading to some new adventure. I wasn’t catholic, but my Irish roots made me think of being a nun, nonetheless. My parents put an end to that idea early.

    Like

  • ‘…a stone-walled Purgatory.’ paints such a depressing and miserable existence. Your story ended with such hope and positivity. Eleanor comes across as having great determination that I’m sure she will be happy and make the most of her, albeit late, freedom

    Like

    • Dear Sarah Ann,

      Glad you liked my story. They can’t all be dark and dismal.;). This one, as you may’ve guessed, has a personal significance for me. Thanks for dropping by. I’ve missed you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Dear Florenda,
    When the Gayer clan first immigrated to America in 1805 they were part of the Harmony Society in Pennsylvania. It was sort of a religious commune from what I gather. Their eldest son, John, left the group at age twenty-one and moved to Indiana, partly because the group practiced celibacy. Maybe that caught up with Eleanor too. 🙂

    Like

  • I would have made a terrible nun, if I was of that religion. Which I’m not. come to think of it I’m not religious at all, but that didn’t keep me from enjoying your story. The ability to change one’s mind and go a different way in life after so many years doesn’t have to stay in the form of religion so I could relate very well to it. Great story btw. 🙂

    Like

    • Dear Jackie,

      I’m afraid if I’d been Catholic and became a nun I’d have found a way to start an order where all the habits were purple accessorized with rhinestone rosaries. So it’s just as well I was neither Catholic nor nun.

      As your comments indicate, you see that this story isn’t really about a particular religious form. Thanks for commenting. Glad you liked.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Hi Rochelle, this story is not necessarily my cup of tea, topic-wise, but I am consistently impressed by how much of a complete narrative you create within the 100 word limit. Nicely done.

    Like

  • Wonderful character development in this. An amazing feat in so few words. I love the imagery of the crumpled habit on the floor. That alone describes her state of mind so well. Excellent writing!

    Like

  • Input! I love input!

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

    WordPress.com Logo

    You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

    Twitter picture

    You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

    Google+ photo

    You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

    Connecting to %s

    WHAT PEGMAN SAW

    a weekly flash fiction prompt inspired by google maps

    Lori Ericson, Author

    An author's perspective of mystery and more.

    anelephantcant

    Random thoughts and images, some serious, some humorous, some pointless

    Honie Briggs

    SERIOUSLY!

    ALYSSAADAVIES

    Writing About Whatever Comes to Mind, Whenever it Comes to Mind...

    Flights of Fancy

    The Totally Unambitious Blog

    The Off Key Of Life

    Or….Identifying The Harmless Unhinged Among Us.

    What's So Funny?

    A WordPress.com humor blog

    The Write Melony

    Renowned Writer Extraordinaire - in my mind!

    unbuttoned or undone

    Hang on, Hang on

    A Delectable Life

    The little and large things making my life delicious!

    Hoxton Spanish Tutor Info

    This WordPress.com site is the cat’s pajamas

    Sound Bite Fiction

    where nothing is quite what it seems

    yadadarcyyada

    Vague Meanderings of the Broke and Obscure

    mezzojan

    a libretto for the comic opera of my life

    elmowrites

    Writing about writing

    What's for dinner, Doc?

    Exploring Human Connections, Health and Wellness

    Claire Fuller

    Writing and art

    Green Writing Room

    Hilary Custance Green's reading and writing notepad

    Oldentimes's Blog

    a little old, a little new, life in the slow land of country living

    Caely in the making

    - one day, they'll say "because of you, I didn't give up" -

    wmqcolby

    A great WordPress.com site

    Being MG

    Flash fiction, poetry and other written works that make me who I am.

    SightsnBytes

    A.K.A. Ted White

    Musings of a Random Mind

    Fiction based on reality. Any similarities to the characters and events in the life of the author are purely intentional.

    draliman on life

    Because sometimes life just makes you stop and think

    onethousandandtwo

    Looking at Infinity

    the EXCESSIVE GARDENER

    adventures in defensive gardening

    %d bloggers like this: