Will March come in like a lion or a lamb? No matter. It’s a new month to gather and write. So bring out the pencils, the pens, desktops, laptops and any other implements of construction. Let your imagination soar as you wrestle one hundred words into submission because it’s time for
FRIDAY FICTIONEERS!
**We set a new record last week with 105 postings!**
THE CHALLENGE:
Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going over or under the word count.)
THE KEY:
Make every word count.
THE RULES:
- Copy your URL to the Linkz collection. You’ll find the tab following the photo prompt. It’s the little white box to the left with the blue froggy guy. Click on it and follow directions. This is the best way to get the most reads and comments.
- MAKE SURE YOUR LINK IS SPECIFIC TO YOUR FLASH FICTION. (Should you find that you’ve made an error you can delete by clicking the little red ‘x’ that should appear under your icon. Then re-enter your URL. (If there’s no red x email me at Runtshell@aol.com. I can delete the wrong link for you).Thanks to Blogspot bloggers for disabling their CAPTCHAs.
- Make note in your blog if you’d prefer not to have constructive criticism.
- REMINDER:
- This page is “FRIDAY FICTIONEERS CENTRAL” and is NOT the place to promote political or religious views. Also, you are responsible for the content of your story and policing comments on your blog. You have the right to delete any you consider offensive.
**Please exercise DISCRETION when commenting on a story! Be RESPECTFUL.**
Should someone have severe or hostile differences of opinion with another person it’s my hope that the involved parties would settle their disputes in private.
***************
My story will follow the prompt for those who might be distracted by reading a story before writing their own . I enjoy your comments.
This week’s prompt comes from Beth Carter who took a first prize with it at the Ozarks Writers League photo contest in February. Congratulations, Beth!
Copyright - Beth Carter
Genre: Literary Fiction
Word count: 100
PACK RAT
Boxes overflowing with rusted ten-penny nails, camping equipment and car parts cluttered the garage. Judith hated the chaos, but other things got in the way of Greg’s promise to organize until the day he deserted her.
It took months to sort through the cardboard jungle.
Then she came across a crate with “Judith” painted on the lid. In it she found her class ring, his first speeding ticket and a bottle of cognac—same vintage they’d shared on their honeymoon.
A note in his uneven scrawl read,
“Damned cancer. Wish I were there to toast forty of my happiest years.”
Oh dear Oh dear! Thou jests with us! Looks tough to me…especially to find an original angle…exciting!
Take thy time, o friend o mine.
I will! Promise!
Ah.. This fit perfectly
I found a story quicker this week than last week. I made the top 10 this week!
Oh man, what to do with this pic… a whole life in there. Actually, this is exactly how I picture cars in the Ozarks. Let’s see… Beth’s, Rochelle’s, Jan’s…
Hey, I resemble that remark, Ted. Notice how the spittoon is next to the coffee cup? Be careful that you don’t take a swig out of the wrong one.
I knew there was another Ozarkie I was forgetting… how could I?
For the record, I belong to Ozarks Writers League but do not live in or come from the area. Admittedly, the clutter in my cars has come close to resembling the one in the photo.
Lol. This doesn’t look a thing like my real, sporty car.
But it’s a nice back-up. Ha
Just entered my first Friday Fictioneers piece. Enjoy…err, I hope!
Welcome to the group! We have fun here.
{whispering} This prompt was awesome!!!!
I think so, too AR. That’s why I begged Beth to let us use it.
Excellent Photo. Should get an interesting mix on this one.
What a beautiful story, Rochelle! She no doubt had a terrible mix of guilt, sadness and joy, knowing that he had loved her after all. This is a deceptively simple story with deep feelings and repercussions.
janet
Dear Janet,
Happy that you saw beyond the sentences and read between the lines.
shalom,
Rochelle
Oh… there you are. I’m not sure how you intended ‘deserted’. I liked your use for the prompt.
Sorry if that wasn’t clear, Ted. The death of a loved one, a spouse in particular, can make a person feel deserted, abandoned and angry. That’s my use of the word in a “runtshell”.
I thought at first he left her. It became obvious at the end that he had died, but I also could read that he left when the cancer got bad to spare her. Lots of ways the story could go… I always like that in a story. Interesting things the things he had saved. Her class ring she gave him when they started going steady. She had forgotten all about it.
You’re spot on, Ted. It could go either way. Glad you picked up on the other things, too.
Thank you for clarifying. I was thinking he found out he had cancer and took off to shield her from the pain of it all. What a touching story though. I can’t imagine how she would feel, finding that box in amongst all the clutter. Good thing she didn’t just hire someone to cart it all away.
awww such a sad, touching story. the end really surprised me. for a while i thought he was a terrible husband. but in the end, he turned out to be a great guy…what a loss.
Dear KZ,
You went where I wanted you to go. Things aren’t always what they seem on the surface. I see him as a loving sentimental guy. Who else would keep her class ring for 40 years?
How wonderfully sweet and sad at the same time. Cleaning up after a pack rat is going to be bittersweet too. Nice job Rochelle.
Dear Kim,
A friend of ours passed away almost two years ago. She was an eclectic kind of gal and had lots of knick-knacks to go through. Lots of memories. Bittersweet indeed. Thanks for your kind comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
I started out angry at him for leaving and ended up glad that she connected with his spirit. A sad tale with a ray of joy for the protagonist. Nicely done..
Thank you, Turnip.
at least he had loving thoughts to organize…and probably would have, given more time. love your story as it reminds us not to procrastinate in this short, unpredictable life of ours.
thank you, Rochelle. ♥
Exactly, Sunshine. I believe Greg’s heart was in the right place. Life and death have a way of happening despite our piddly plans.
A very sad job to do; that of ‘cleaning up’… Your images were wonderful; very wistful and heartfelt…
I’m ‘joining in’… This is my first 100 worder. Not such an easy thing to do, I’m finding..
Thanks so much for the compliments, Carolyn. Happy to have you aboard.
So sad.Cancer has destroyed so many lives–of the living as well as those who are gone.
True, VB/
I lost my mother to cancer and, more recently, a close friend.
Nice, poignant piece, the feelings of desertion now replaced with guilt and confusion…,
All part of the grieving process, Managua.
Very sad piece Rochelle. Well done.
Thanks, Sandra.
a moving piece..very nicely put
Reblogged this on Dad's American Beauty and commented:
This is my first time to Reblog and I thought in honor of the new month and season approaching, I’d share this Friday Fictioneers Challenge. This week’s photo is particularly intricate and could take a writer in a limitless number of directions…Enjoy!
Thanks Renee. My story went with it so you do honor me as well.
I never cease to be amazed by your talent. I think this one is my favorite. I actually flinched at the end and said “ooh!” out loud. How sad – and real. Kudos again.
Dear Linda,
A writer can’t ask for better praise than that. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
I was thinking he’d dumped her right up till she read the note. It took me from sad to bittersweet. Well done, Alexandra.
Nice to know you went where I wanted you to go, Russell. Thank you.
Shalom,
Alexandra
What happened to the other picture prompt?
AnElephant had something all prepared and it just disappeared.
Jolly unsporting of you!
Dear Elephant,
Sorry to seem unsporting but the way the game is played is that one has seven days to post his or her story. You can still paste last week’s picture and post your story to go with it on your blog. Hope you’ll participate this week.
shalom,
Rochelle
Ah, no ma’am, AnElephant saw a picture of a jar of sugar yesterday and prepared an appropriate response.
Then today it was gone.
That was the question.
Not here that I know of.
Hey Elephant… the jar of sugar was about 6 months ago… sitting on a table in some coffeeshop… one of Rochelle’s first prompts. Just pretend the jar of sugar is in that car somewhere…
A telling story Rochelle, it’s so hard to be the one left behind.but I hope this will help her heal.
I suspect she drank a toast to Greg and had a gully washer of a cry. Perhaps this brought her to the acceptance stage of grief. thanks for you comments, Anne.
What a lovely story Rochelle. Brought a tear to this romantic’s eye. Can’t wait to post mine up.
Fondly, Renee
Tears are what I was going for. Always nice to achieve a goal. Thanks for commenting, Renee.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Great switch! I didn’t like him until the end.
Scott
http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/02/27/friday-fictioneers-312013-xxxx-genre-humorous/
oh, the poor man. poor everyone involved. well done.
this line, “Judith hated the chaos but other things…” you could use a comma after “chaos.” if you feel like it.
Thanks, Pat. I’ll take a comma for $50.
This is SO good, Rochelle. Bittersweet. I, too, thought he was going to be a creep and you tripped me! Well done. Thanks again for using my photo. I can’t wait to read all of the stories. Hop over to mine. I wrote TWO!
Dear Beth,
What fun it was to use your photo this week. Thanks for the loan. Glad you liked my story. All men can’t be jerks, can they?
Shalom,
Rochelle
Touching, Rochelle. I understand it to mean the husband died and then she later came across the crate. How very sad. Sometimes I think when this happens the real grieving begins. Well done. Such a well put together story. Shalom – Amy
Dear Amy,
I agree. Grieving is a process. One of the steps in that process is anger at that person for leaving. Hence the word “deserted”.
Thanks for commenting
Shalom,
Rochelle
Not quite sure whether he left to avoid her suffering with him or he actually died. Either way makes a touching story with a twist. Hope he’s alive, gets cured, and comes back!
Sorry, Perry. Greg’s not coming back. To tell the truth I’m not even sure if he left or not, but he did die. As much as I enjoy a happy ending this one wasn’t to be. Thanks for commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Very sad and quite an unexpected end.
This will stay with me for a while.
Thank you for such a high compliment, Parul.
Think I’m a little late with entry – this was tough!
I had sympathy with him from the beginning…seems to be just me lol Thanks Rochelle.
Dear Rambling,
We’re called Friday Fictioneers for a reason, so you’re not late.
It’s okay to sympathize with Greg from the beginning.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Dear Rochelle,
I am in the process of cleaning out my garage and organizing everything. I’ve run across treasure and reminders and notes to self. No Brandy yet.
Loved your story for its simplicity and the reminder to cherish those we love while we have them. Always a pleasure reading your work.
Aloha,
Doug
Dear Doug,
As a writer it’s nice to hear when I’ve, either inadvertently or intentionally, struck a cord of truth.
.
“I’ll call her tomorrow.” “One of these days we’ll have coffee.” etc. And, as in Greg’s case,”I’ll organize my garage next month.”
Thanks for commenting. I’m happy to know that you enjoy my work as I look forward to reading yours. Good to C. you back.
Shalom,
Rochelle
HI Rochelle
Clever to make us think that he had truly deserted her, and then find that it was the cancer that took him away. A powerful story full of sadness. Really enjoyed this.
Dear El,
Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed my story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Always trying to jerk a tear from me, aren’t you? Well done, and congrats on the 105 body count!
Dear T,
Thanks for your kind words.
Jerking tears is a favorite pastime of mine.
shalom,
Rochelle
There are so many of these letters written every year. I have been active with the Relay For Life event in our town for a decade, but the need is just so great. You evoked some emotions with this one Rochelle.
Dear Joe,
I evoked some of my own emotions. For me there should be truth woven into the threads of fiction. And this weaving hits close to home for the author. Thank you for your kind comments and validation.
shalom,
Rochelle
Great twist in the tale! I was thinking “hoarders” and you turned it into “Terms of Endearment”. Way to go!
The photo had so many possibilities, and here is just one…
http://kbnelson.wordpress.com/2013/03/01/flash-fiction-tijuana-trail/
Thanks for your stellar comment, Karen. I like the way you put it; “Hoarders” turned into “Terms of Endearment.” Maybe my next title.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Very perceptive story, Rochelle. It can,indeed, illogically, seem like ‘desertion’ and anger towards the sufferer does play a part.Even just the threat of the possibility of ‘desertion’. I know this too well. Powerful stuff. And it was good how you manipulated my emotions with the use of the one word: ‘deserted’. Ann
Dear Ann,
Anger is a natural part of the grief process. I remember after my mother passed away being angry at her for leaving me to deal with my dad who called me every day in his loneliness. (Now I miss him as well and would love to have him call).
Thank you for your kind comments.
shalom,
Rochelle
it’s exciting to see the community grow…
i really enjoy your take on this one Rochelle. Fine accomplishment in the few words.
Thank you,N. Glad you’re a part of our growing community. It never ceases to amaze me.
shalom,
Rochelle
I loved the description in the opening paragraph.
Thanks Jenn. Happy to have you on board this week.
Such a bittersweet story.
That’s a shocker! And I can sort of sympathize with Greg now…except that I know someone who lost a close relative to cancer that was carefully kept a secret, and being blindsided like that seems to have just made the grief worse. So I’ll give Greg points for good intentions, but not so much for successfully carrying them out.
Dear Sharon,
.
I suppose that depends on how you view the story. Did Greg actually leave her to spare her from the pain of watching him die or did she just feel deserted because of his death? Those are the questions that aren’t fully answered in the mind of the author
But there’s the rub of 100 words.
Thanks for commenting. .
shalom,
Rochelle
Oh my. I didn’t expect that ending. So sad.
Unexpected is what I aimed for Shirley.
Oh, how sweet, brought tears to my eyes. Excellent writing.
öThanks so much for saying so, Björn.
Great as always.
Now some head shrinkage is required for me after that.
Thank you, Jackie.
I loved the twist–certainly far more touching that what we could expect. Very moving. Great read.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/eye-of-the-beholder/
Glad you found it moving, Maggie. Thanks for your kind words.
shalom,
Rochelle
This hurt my heart. You set me up to hate him. How dare you!
Things aren’t always what they seem, are they? No apologies.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Great prompt Rochelle
I could have kept going with this one…
You are amazing! another surprise ending. Kind of bittersweet, too. Very well told, as usual. Yours back at you,
Lindaura
Amazing? Whoa. Stunning compliment. Don’t know how deserving I am but I’ll accept it with a humbled thank you. Glad you’re back, Lindaura.
Gut punch at the end. I do like how you describe it as “deserted”
To Judith it felt like desertion. Thanks for commenting, H.L.
a poignant story that grabs your heart at the end.
That’s heartbreaking, going through a loved one’s belongings and finding such an unexpected and beautiful surprise. I suspected he hadn’t run off, I think most women would have just dumped his stuff if so, but the use of ‘deserted’ put that little bit of doubt in my mind. Lovely story.
Beautiful and sad. And through it all Greg was still thinking of her. Great story that evokes lots of feelings
Hi Rochelle,
This is exactly the kind of mess I will leave behind. Good misdirection clarified dramatically in the final line. Very imaginative. Ron
You have a flair for putting an ending in that will cause a person to sputter as they careen that last corner to the finish line. Brava!
Dear Rochelle,
Sad but lovely story, wondered where you were going with it,then wow, what an ending. Read it twice, with tears.
Dee
This is nicely done. Poignant but rich with all of those tidbits of memories and the bits and pieces of things that go along with a persons life.
How very rich and sad. Great story Rochelle.
What a lovely, poignant story, Rochelle!
I posted the exterior sit of thus car on my blog if you want to see it. http://banterwithbeth.blogspot.com Many FF were curious about it!
And here I was ready to hate Greg when all of a sudden I was whipped around and swerved into really liking him and wanting to shed a tear for Judith.
Well-constructed, concise. You definitely put the screws to it!