6 March 2015

Published March 4, 2015 by rochellewisoff

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Blue Ceiling FF

 

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The following picture is the PHOTO PROMPT.  Does it plant a story in your mind? Share it in a hundred words or less.  

My story follows the prompt and the inLinkz frog. I relish honest comments and appreciate constructive crit. 

PHOTO PROMPT - © Erin Leary

PHOTO PROMPT – © Erin Leary

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Genre: Realistic Fiction

Word Count: 100

ESCAPE

                “Sabira! Where are you, you worthless bitch?” yelled her husband, Davlet.  

            From the barn rafters she watched him through a chink in the wall and prayed. “Don’t let him find me.”

                Two weeks ago she’d been an ambitious university student until four men, including Davlet, jumped out of a car and forced her into it.

             “Kyrgyz tradition,” said her mother when Sabira called her for help. “You’ll learn to be a good wife as grandmother and I did.”

            “New tradition,” whispered Sabira as she tightened a noose she’d fashioned from barbed wire around her neck and jumped off the ledge.  

.

.

.Bride Knapping

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150 comments on “6 March 2015

  • Good story as always, Rocehelle. What a shame young woman are treated that way in that country. I read the article in the link. An elderly couple said this violence is not the tradition. The police are partly to blame in that matter They just don’t want to tackle the problem. Well done. — Suzanne

    Like

    • Dear Suzanne,

      I watched a few videos on YouTube and it’s even worse than the article. It’s not just the police who are to blame, it’s the older members of the family who feel this “tradition” is perfectly okay. They don’t lose a son but gain a scullery maid.

      Glad you came by to read and comment.

      Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • Oh, this is heartbreaking, very powerful. You captured her quiet desperation so well. Reading the article, I wonder why everything is going so horrible these days. I believe long ago things started this way, but with time evolved into an imitation for the sake of the tradition (there are many examples of similar things all over the world), but lately we see things twisted and turned in a most horrid way.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Loré,

      The article I posted is only one of many that are available online. It started with a video on YouTube that told of two women who committed suicide, feeling it was their only way out. No support from family or police.

      We think we’re living in modern times but there’s so much ignorance and darkness spreading faster than cancer.

      Thank you for your kind words.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • Dear Rochelle,

    Whether you realize it or not, Emily’s solution in my story could serve the women in Kyrgyzstan well. Would progressively raise the IQ of the nation, too. Perhaps some intrepid but unwilling bride will try it and it will catch on.

    Good story,

    YTDOTBO, now back to work.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    P.S. TIYCFTS

    Liked by 1 person

  • Rochelle… and I thought my story was a trifle on the dark side!

    I think Flash fiction works exceptionally well with a touch of horror, murder, fear or despair – and you’ve outdone yourself with this one. The fact this is based on real and current events is what makes it truly a horror story.

    KT

    Liked by 2 people

  • Hi Rochelle, thanks for sharing this story with us, I had no idea about bride kidnaping, it’s savage and cruel! And the worst is the women there accept this kind of violence, it’s normal for them.

    Like

    • Dear Elizabeth,

      After watching videos an reading, I’m appalled at how many of these women end up submitting to the marriage and how many of their families accept it as normal. I had no idea either until I happened on the first YouTube video.

      Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • Wow, what a shocking ending. This is a disturbing story because it’s so true.I think I’d like to live in a world where the only bridenapping is the kind that was done in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers; the kind where everyone lives happily ever after.

    Like

  • Well that’s a jolly start to the morning! It’s difficult to even find words to fully express the disgust, sadness, horror that this type of practice (and there are so many more–female genital mutilation, beheadings, etc.) makes me feel…and the despair both of the victims and that I feel knowing it not only goes on but is sanctioned.

    janet

    Like

    • Dear Janet,

      Sorry to have darkened your morning. It is a terrible practice. And as for the other things going on in the world…

      Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • That really is an utterly appalling prospect. Another of your truly effective stories that brings isues forward into the public arena. I cannot begin to imagine how it must feel to have your future snatched from you in this way. Very well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Sandra,

      I don’t even remember where I started this research trail, but I was on YouTube when I saw the wife kidnapping video and felt compelled to watch it. I was appalled. Sabira’s suicide is based on two different women who felt suicide was the only way out.

      Thank you for taking time to read and leave such a lovely comment.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • A powerful story with a lesson. There are so many parts of the world where women in particular are suffering from customs which are just wrong, as they play out today. It always bugs me when people are like live and let live, when sometimes it’s more like live and let die. 😦 Thanks for sharing this.
    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Anne,

      As I’ve answered one commentor, there are cultures and then there are cultures. Some things are just wrong. This is such a cruel “tradition.” There are people in Kyrgyzstan who are trying to change things but it’s tough for them.

      Thank you for your comments.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

    • Dear David,

      I wonder if the documentary is what I watched on YouTube. Once I saw it I knew what I had to write. I usually know when a theme plants itself in my mind and refuses to leave.

      Thank you for your wonderful comment.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • What a horrible and disturbing tradition! Thanks for writing this excellent story to share the plight of these women. Let’s hope that Sabira’s fate is not the fate of many others in the future.

    Peace,
    Marie Gail

    Like

    • Dear Marie Gail,

      I was appalled at this tradition and even more appalled that the ‘bride’s’ family would support it. Sabira’s story is based on factual cases of two women who found suicide their only escape. There are officials in Kyrgyzstan who are working to change things but society in general isn’t on their side. We can but hope.

      Thank you for your lovely words about my story.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Björn,

      Every so often I have to veer off the beaten path of historical fiction. The muse led in another direction. It is a terrible tradition. Thank you for reading and commenting.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • What is this world we live in? You so often manage to find its darkest corners and worst secrets, Rochelle – I don’t know what that says about you, but I always find the enlightenment fascinating, even when it’s grizzly. And you always make the truth so real and vivid with your stories and characterisation. This is why, as I said on your previous post, I look forward so much to reading your novels.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Jen,

      My agent assures me that she doesn’t give up and will find a home for my novels.

      There’s so much out there on the internet. The research excites me nearly as much as the writing. This bit of research was particularly horrifying for the author. It’s a story that begged to be written and I consented.

      Thank you so much for your comments.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Oh that’s so sad. I wish she could’ve escaped. I’ve heard of this practice before. It’s an awful thing that eliminates choice and hope from a young woman’s life. That article you supplied is very informative. Thanks for a great story, and for keeping us in the know.

    Like

  • This is a very powerful story, but my god…this tradition is absolutely horrific. Even if it was not violent, practices like this are disgraceful.
    The last time I checked, this is definitely the 21st century? In a way though, I am not surprised.
    As usual a brilliant story, and I am looking forward to reading more of your work in the future.

    Like

  • Wow, I hadn’t heard about this. I can’t believe something like this is happening in this day and age, and is so widespread.
    Your story was very powerful, with a shocking and unexpected end.

    Like

    • Dear Joe,

      There are cultural differences and there are cultural differences. After watching the videos and doing more reading than the article I linked, it more than seems abominable. The fact that it happens every day…well…

      Thank you for commenting.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • You always teach us new and unusual things.
    This time barbaric things.

    Not for nothing, but I was once abducted by a gaggle of geese…
    what happened, you ask?
    I told them I wouldn’t stick my neck out if I were you, and they threw me back.
    Well, the whole thing wasn’t quite kosher if you ask me.
    Randy

    Like

    • Dear Randy,

      Well this little known part of your history explains a lot. 😉 Perhaps there’s a story in it. But then, I’d never leave you hanging.

      Thank you for such a nice comment.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • How horrible that this happens in our world today! If I was young, and this happened to me, I might consider doing the same thing if that is the only way to get out…Thanks for the story and sharing that this happens in our world… Be well Rochelle and shalom! ^..^

    Like

    • Dear Weltchy,

      I can’t imagine that kind of life where you can be snatched away from your dreams at any given moment and then told you have to accept it. Such an emotional response to my story is gratifying to this writer.

      Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • OK, OK…Miss Understood is now confused. Which photo EXACTLY are we suppose to be writing about: I thought it was the photo with the mushrooms but….

    Like

        • Dear Karyn,

          I’m actually glad you asked that question. You’ll note that the banner at the top of my post every week reads, “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” A few in the group saw the mushrooms, Doug saw a constellation and Alicia saw hats. I, on the other hand, ignored the mushrooms completely and went for the wall, which I wrote as part of the barn.

          I usually start with a word or “history of” on my research trail. This is where the trail led me this week.

          I hope this clarifies it for you. 😉

          Shalom,

          Rochelle

          Like

  • Dear Juliet,
    I like our custom better–Sadie Hawkins Day. Although, I never was fast afoot. Connie must have had poor eyesight, for she was certainly capable of a better catch.
    – Wilford Shakesheare

    Liked by 1 person

  • This was very poignant and powerful. It is sad women are treated in this fashion and sad that she doesn’t have the support of her family so she has chosen to be the one to break the chain that has held all the women before her. Sad that she couldn’t do it in a less final way. Very well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Irene,

      Yes to all of the above. The saddest part to me is the acceptance of the family. My story is based on the suicides of two young women who felt they had no other options.

      Thank you for your lovely comments and compliments.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • What a horrific story. Very well written, Rochelle. I read the article, and I found it so strange how the families accept it. Then to learn that it’s tradition, but that it used to be different where a woman was expecting the kidnapping and that is was consensual. I still find the whole kidnapping thing, consensual or not, very strange. This is tragic. In some parts of the world, not much has changed for women at all.

    Like

    • Dear Amy,

      The actual inspiration for my story came from a YouTube video that started with the stories of two different young women who found suicide as their only escape. However it’s really too long to post and expect anyone to watch it.

      It is sad that it’s a reality in other parts of the world. When did women become less valuable than men? I don’t get it.

      Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • Sad, sad story. And a beautiful light touch.
    With International Women’s Day this weekend it is salutary to reflect that whilst gains are made in some places, some lives other women suffer.
    And the college student of your story – her education is seen as a threat. What strange times we live in.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear MJL,

      I didn’t realize when I wrote this it was International Women’s Day. A case of right place, right time. 😉 I do not understand why women are treated this way. When did we become servants and property to less than intelligent men?

      Thank you for such lovely comments.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • Your story is very well written, of course. Everything else is heartbreak. Hundreds of girls kidnapped and enslaved/forced to marry in Africa… Female genital mutilation… Indian women and tourists raped and killed, and the media give the murderers screen-time to blame the victims… Kidnapping of girls and force-marrying them as in your story–and then there are the pampered Western girls who prattle about how feminism isn’t necessary any more, because, what more could women want, don’t they have everything now? Ack… sorry for the rant.

    Like

    • Dear Erin,

      I saw the mushrooms but just couldn’t get into them. 😉 Your picture certainly inspired some diverse stories this week, didn’t it?

      This is definitely not a tradition you’ll hear anyone singing about.

      Thank you for coming by.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • this planet is fraught with atrocities, most commonly against women, children and those of the minority. all of these crimes have a single denominator: men. perhaps if we have a Hunger Games for men, they would behave civilly. good story Rochelle.

    Like

  • A great many wonderful comments that have expressed my feelings too. What can I add to mine that could express how I feel about your story. Sad … horrifying … evil …. desperation … well, I’d much rather focus on how BRILLIANT your writing is.
    I’m learning a great deal about the craft of writing from participating. Thank you for hosting and teaching me. : )

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Isadora,

      We learn by doing. I’m pleased that you’re participating and learning. The greatest for me in writing flash fiction is learning how to conserve words. Which ones are necessary and which ones are needless window dressing?

      The fact that this story has evoked strong emotion and people are seeing the story and not the writing is a high compliment.

      Thank you for commenting on both. .

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

      • My biggest writing issue has always been too many words. I find that with the challenge I’m choosing them carefully. I’m not getting the creative part in but, I think, eventually I’ll be able to put it all together. Thank you for responding to my comment here and on my blog. It’s sincerely appreciated. : )
        Isadora

        Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Indira,

      The most horrifying part of it to me is that the ‘bride’s’ family sees this practice as normal. I can’t imagine being kidnapped, forced into a marriage and told by my own mother I have to stay. And that’s based on fact, not my warped imagination. 😦

      Thank you coming by with your sweet comments.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • Wow! Another good story, with a compelling back story, Rochelle. I had never heard of this, and feel sick knowing it’s happening in the world. Truly appalling! The barbed wire noose is a graphic and powerful way of driving this barbaric story home. Wow.

    Liked by 1 person

  • I pressed the ‘like’ button, while feeling sick and dismayed. Not at your story, but at its back story. I had not heard of this ‘tradition’. On top of all the recent horrific news of abuses to women … Is the world getting more violent and obscene, or am I just growing up to ‘reality’, I wonder.

    Like

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